Help!

WANTED: A sport called hockey. Played on ice using skates, sticks and a rubber puck. Involves a number of men from various different backgrounds playing on 30 different teams. Has been missing since June 5. If anyone has any information, please call 1-800-WEHATEVERSUS.

I feel like that little fake wanted ad could be true. This summer/offseason feels like it has been the longest time without hockey in a while. ...Yeah, okay, so it is, but this is like torture. So much so that I even forget about it! I know, what a tragedy! No one should have to go through this.

Seriously though, it feels like the season is still so far away. Even the start of training camp aka Puck Drop or whatever seems like it's months away, when it really only is a month-ish. Throughout this remaining time left before it all starts up again, we have these things to ponder:

• Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego Jason Pominville and his shiny new contract?
• How awesome would it be if the World Juniors were held here in 2011? (I think it would be such a perfect event for us: extra hockey, $$$, seeing future players... awesome.)
• What is Max going to do this season? (After the injuries, talk of trading, etc, I'm pretty interested to see how things go. My opinion is that he'll be back towards his normal self, seeing as that he's not with the all crazy lines like last year.)
  
• What world saving event is Paul Gaustad planning now? (He's single handily helping Russia and Georgia stop their fighting, then uniting them with... something environmently friendly and useful.)
  
• Why is John Mayer so amazing? (Actually, I'll get that answer tonight, woooooooo!)
  

And how have 83 people (or maybe 1 person 83 times?!?) searched for "patrick kane nhl awards sister"? I only have one little post that barely mentions it... I know people want to know what he was talking about but it's also slightly weird, haha.

Okay, September 20, or even better, October 10, you can come anyyyy time now.